finally an update..although not a good one.

Well I haven’t been exactly keeping you all very updated… my apologies, but I don not have a laptop and I could not climb 4 sets of stairs to get to my bedroom to post from my pc and my phone well can only do so much.
Anyway we left off on sat the 5th and as far as I knew I started my 2nd miscarriage on Thursday when the bleeding and clots started, I went in for betas on Friday and the numbers were not good, definitely not a viable pregnancy. I had to get more blood work on Monday to see what he numbers were doing and possibly have to get a methotrexate shot to expel any left over tissue. The weekend was uneventful, sad just gloomy all around. On Sunday night I cramped and bled again. Thinking it was merely part of the miscarriage I decided to wait it out, besides there was nothing they could do for me at the ER. I got out my heating pad, some chamomile tea and laid in bed with it tucked closely to my tummy. Monday rolled around and I went for bw at 8:30 am, Michael was with me, he was home that day...thank GOD, I went to work with my mom and the chest pain started again a bit worse than last week but still bearable. I still toughed it out. I'm tough I though, I could do this. I could go through this alone. I was alright. We got home around 12:30pm and I laid on the couch hoping, willing it to go away, I really didn’t want to go back to the ER. It didn’t get better I decided it was enough, the least they could do for me at the ER was give me some pain relief. I was wrong, there was more they could do there...like save my life! We got to good Sam at about 1pm. They didn’t take me as fast as the last time but when they checked me a second time my pulse ox was about 80, normal is 90 or above. I was given a gown to change into and IV was put in…this is not a good sign. The doctor came in and we told him the whole story from my fist loss to what we were told last week to what was happening now, he called a cardiologist to check in on me, ordered and X-ray and another internal u/s. He also got me some pain meds…yeay demoral. I had to go to the bathroom, stupid me I though I could make it there with the help of Michael and the nurse…nope I basically passed out in their arms, so she brought me a bed pan and a diaper for me… like I need to be humiliated any more at this point. Little did I know this was to be the beginning? The cardiologist came in…can I just say my mom was hitting on him while I lay there! It was pretty funny though. Anyway he said he though this was muscular and I was not having heart attack. At this point the pain in my chest had subsided but the lower left part of my belly was hurting…A LOT. Off I went to the x-ray then to U/S, the tech was a sweetheart, fist he did and regular u/s and he kept apologizing for causing me pain I kept saying its ok, then he put the wand in and his face said it all. I knew something MUST be wrong. He looked at me and said “sweetie you are hemorrhaging internally, this is definitely ectopic and it has already ruptured and I was bleeding out into my belly but on the left side, not the right like they though initially. you need surgery NOW” the rest was a blur, When I got back to the ER I still didn't have a clue what was going on at least not entirely, at this point I though ok maybe surgery to fix the pooling of blood in my uterus.. I still didn't really understand. The ER doc came back in and talked about my symptoms. Why was my arm & leg going numb again, what could cause that...blah blah blah. The next thing I know, they're hooking me up to a heart rate monitor, although the cardiologist who was also in the room said it’s probably a symptom from the internal bleeding, blood pressure is being taken every 15 minutes and pumping me full of morphine. They tell me we're waiting on my OB she'll be able to tell me more when she gets. They told me they had called my doctor and she was about 10 minutes away. Michael and my mom had no clue what happened so I told them what the tech said and started to cry. My doctor walked in and she said the tech was right, and that the pregnancy had tried to abort itself and that is where all the bleeding was coming from. She told me we didn't have much time, I needed surgery because the ectopic had ruptured and I needed surgery right away. She said I had a choice to make; she could go in remove the baby and attempt to fix the tube or just take it all out completely. I told her to take it out completely because even with her attempt to fix it didn’t guarantee the entire blockage would be removed and this could happen again later on. Michael agreed with me and we prayed for the best. At least it wasn’t my right tube since it’s my only good working one. She said the surgery is about 1 hour.They moved me to a different waiting room just outside the OR, they gave me more pain meds because the chest pain came back and I couldn’t breath, I think it was nerves at this point but I was scared. Doctor B came to check on me and explain to Michael and my mom just what she would be doing; she said on top of removing the tube she would do another D&C to make sure she gets everything out. We were so confused, at the OR doors kissed Michael and my mom, I tell them both I love them, I'm not sure Michael even said I love you, he was so in shock, but I remember saying it and breaking down and crying. In the OR I was given the blue cap to put on for surgery and they
They asked me to move from my stretcher to the OR table. I looked at the clock it was 8:15pm one of the nurses saw I was holding rosary beads and she took them from me and then placed them back in my hand with some tape so I would not loose them, then she looked at me and said “it will be alright.” That was the last thing I remember. I woke up as they were calling my name and removing the tube from my throat. I was out again and woke up again in the recovery room. The Nurse stayed with me until I was completely awake. She talked to me. She was wonderful and took excellent care of me. She brought my husband and mom back in it was 10:30pm. I have never been so happy to see them both. They told me I could go home, but my mom fought with them saying its cold out she just had surgery let her stay overnight, my doctor agreed and we waited for a bed. Michael went home to get some sleep. They took me upstairs a bit later and settled me into my room, gave me more pain killers and continued checked my vital signs. My mom stayed with me. The next morning we had breakfast and around 9am Doctor B came in to formally discharge me, she said to see her in 1 week and no sex for 1 month and we can TTC again AFTER my first AF AFTER the first month has passed, so whenever AF decides to show after may 7th we can start again. Seems like we are always starting but never finishing. She said she took a look at my right tube and it looks great. Also my ovaries are in perfect shape and she sees no reason for the next pregnancy not to be a success. I went home finally and have spent the last week sleeping in my living room on an aero bed; btw those things are very comfy. The pain has gotten better and all 3 incisions look great. I think now I have more emotional healing to do than physical. I feel beyond broken and shattered and now I have scars to prove it.
Let this be a lesson to all those who are stubborn like I once was. If you're bleeding and cramping, having a hard time breathing....you should go to the ER and be checked out right away!!!!..