"Oh what a shame what a rainy ending given to this perfect day" Taylor Swift Cold as you
I went in this morning for a blood draw so they could check what the HCG level was, we went for lunch afterwards and then came home to wait fo the very anticipated doctor's call. It came around 3:30pm. If you remember from my fiasco at the ER Sunday night, my beta was 261, with today's draw it was 278. Not a good number, not doubling, for today it should have been in the 800's.
She wants me to go do another draw on Monday to see what the numbers are doing. Now we pray they are going down since the main concern at this point if they don't is that it could indeed be ectopic and i would need surgery to remove the baby and possibly damage my only good working tube, literally killing the chances of us EVER having a baby.
Will this shit never end?????
The doctor thinks I probably passed it all yesterday since the bleeding has continued and cramps are bearable, she said its a good sign that its not intense pain the kind that takes your breath away. So there is a really good chance its not ectopic but she wants to be sure.
So now we are back to square one, so this is cd2 waiting on AF yet again. Then waiting for it to come again so i can start the clomid and sperm meets egg plan. seems so far away, and it's crazy that i am even thinking about this right now, but to be honest as much as I prayed and wanted this baby to be, I also know how quickly it can be ripped from you so I tried not to get attached, we weren't going to tell anyone until we saw the HB twice, guess we never got the chance.
I am also going to ask the doctor when i speak to her again if i would need to have RPL test to see if i have a clotting disorder although with the fucking insurance we have if its even remotely considered IF workup then we are screwed because its not covered.
So here I am broken on the floor and being kicked while I'm down.
2 months ago
4 comments:
I was so sad to see your post and it feels like I'm right there with you, but I know I couldn't imagine what you're feeling right now. Please know that I'll be praying for you!
My heart is so sad for you, Viv. What a huge dissapointmoint for you and your husband. I pray that this is not an eptopic and that a healthy pregnancy is in your very near future!!
I'm so, so sorry :(
A blood clotting disorder should be covered by insurance.. I believe you need to go to a hematologist too at some point. I know several women from my IF boards who have a variation of the MTHFR gene mutation who one they were properly diagnosed have gone on to have healthy pregnancies. I hope you get some answers.
The nest TTTC messageboard was a god send to me, I don't know if you've already been there, but in case it's
tp://boards.thenest.com/boards/ShowForum.aspx?ForumID=425
and there is also a pregnancy loss board that I have heard is a very supportive and loving place:
tp://boards.thenest.com/boards/ShowForum.aspx?ForumID=426
You will be in my thoughts..
Hi, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I saw you asking about natural miscarriages, and I detailed mine in my blog if you care to read it. It was more emotional than anything else, but like you I have a great husband for support. Good luck and take care of yourself. I hope you're able to allow yourself to not feel guilty, but no one can predict or control the range of emotions we feel, right?
Be well.
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