store up and running

A while back i contemplated the idea of starting my own consignment store but quickly gave up on the idea due to the fact that renting a place to have the store where i live is probably about the same as our mortgage and having it at our house was out of the question, our dog is psychotic to say the least!

So then MH suggested i do it onl;ine, yeah its more hassle because now i have to photograph all the items and them write descriptions then upload and make the listing.
somehow i was able to do most of it today i have about 10 more items to go but so far so good,
take a look for yourselves and by golly bid if you want to!
my store listing

In other news My temp spiked again puttin a potential O date for this past tuesday and we timed BD really well so keep your fingers crossed.
I feel very hopeful this cycle!

on to pineapple (again)

So it seems that the clomid actually worked. Yesterday all day i had very bad (whjat i can only describe as) bloating and just all aorund heavy feeling in my lower abdominla area specifically my ovaries. I had several twinges though out the day and then last night i felt like a pop from my right side, might have been gas, might have been the eggie releasing. We didn't BD because michael hurt his back(agian) so we did the next best thing, used the uinstead cup "pre-filled" if you have been following my blog you know what it means! i only missed the part about how i was supposed to have an orgasm for my cervix to dip into the cup???!!! well i'm not to worried i mushed in there enought to get to the cervix.
Don't look so shoked about the TMI its a blog about trying to get pg, so its gonna get messy at points!
Anyway.....
According to my charts and OPKs it looks like I ovulated late on day 18 early Day 19.
I've got a pineapple waiting to be cut so i can start making my smoothies tonight. The pineapple smoothies are something I picked up on the net. Thanks to Maybride! Pineapple, and especially the core contain a chemical called Bromelain. Bromelain helps with implantation. So you're supposed to to cut a pineapple into 5ths, and eat 1/5 a day (including the core) for five days after ovulation. I love pineapple. Not to big a fan of the core. But mashed in with yogurt and ice and the yummy pineapple chunks, the core is not too bad.

Here is my baby making arsenal for this cycle
1. clomid 100mg (cd 3-7)
2. Sex every other day since cd 10, and every day when i got + OPK
3. Pineapple core smoothies
4. Tons of Prayer

O.K. that is it. We shall see if this works. On to the 2WW...again

LH SURGE

I found a brand new box of Answer OPKs at works for $5.00 and i bought them because i can't pass up a deal like that. i got home and tested and + super dark test line showed up. Which means I'm about to O and we have to get busy!
I'm really excited about this cycle don't ask me why its intuition i guess. Last night's dream also helped to get me in the right frame of mind.
I can't wait to tell Michael we are expecting again as soon as it happens!

The Secret

I've never been one to believe in positive thinking, I'm more of prepare for the worst and hope for the best, but upon my mother's nagging of watching this movie, i think i may have to give it a shot. I have nothing to loose by trying.

The Secret reveals the most powerful law in the universe. The knowledge of this law has run like a golden thread through the lives and the teachings of all the prophets, seers, sages and saviors in the world's history, and through the lives of all truly great men and women. All that they have ever accomplished or attained has been done in full accordance with this most powerful law.

Basically its the law of attraction which simply says that you attract into your life whatever you think about. Your dominant thoughts will find a way to manifest. In my case we want a baby so i should visualize myself already pregnant and thanking the universe for it. Yes its hard but in the last week since I've been trying to do this i have found I'm not so bitter when i see a pg woman or when i see a newborn. I am trying to focus on how happy we will be when the pg finally happens and how much we will cherish it.
The movie says there are 3 basic steps to achieve this:

Ask	Know what you want and ask the universe for it.	This is where you need to get clear on what it is you want to create and visualise what you want as being as 'real' as possible.
Believe†	Feel and behave as if the object of your desire is on its way.	Focus your thoughts and your language on what it is you want to attract. You want to feel the feeling of really 'knowing' that what you desire is on its way to you, even if you have to trick yourself into believing it – do it.
Receive	Be open to receiving it.	Pay attention to your intuitive messages, synchronicities, signs from the Universe to help you along the way as assurance you are on the 'right' path. As you align yourself with the Universe and open yourself up to receiving, the very thing you are wanting to manifest will show up.

I'm am also going to be reciting these mantras when i get my BFP (an I will get it)

-"Today I am pregnant and I love my baby."

-"I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise."

-"My past does not dictate my future. A previous m/c does not mean I will have another m/c."

-"Just because something sad is happening to another poster, does not mean it will happen to me."

-"Hope does not make bad things happen." I cannot ‘jinx’ my pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone.

-"There is nothing I can do to prevent a m/c from happening. Worrying myself sick doesn't prevent a m/c. And if it were to happen again, I know I will survive."

Get your tissues guys!

Louis Mulkey
The most touching story I have seen in a long time.
Prediction: There will be a movie about this man some day.
What a hero! its about 15 minutes long but man what a story!
Click on his name above.

Ive been tagged

Thanks Kekis i actually like doing these thing, my life can be boring so i have to find excuses to post here!

The rules of the game get posted at the beginning. Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tag people and posts their names, then go to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
Soo here we go

1. What was I doing ten years ago? Well i was 19, woah seems so long ago, iI was living in Costa Rica, had just gotten engaged. Had my own house and was living well, i worked in a sportsbook that paid in Dollars not the national coin so i made a substantial salary compared to other people not in sportsbooks. I Was happy and carefree. I lived to live and have fun and travel. Those were good times, but i wouldn't change what i have now for that. I'm fulfilled now.

2. Five things on my to do list for today: Laundry, vacuum the LR, do my hair color (before I O) go grocery shopping... again, leave dinner ready for Michael since i get home from school around 9pm

3. Snacks I enjoy right now: since my pregnancy i have been craving ice cream so now i stock it in the fridge always. yodels, pound cake with vanilla ice cream on top, root beer floats, marshmallows cover in condensed milk and sprinkled with shredded coconut.

4. Things I would do if I were a billionaire: pay of our debts, buy a house, put money away for Darren's college, help out both our families. Travel.

5. Places I have lived: Costa Rica, new Jersey, New York

6. People I want to know more about: michelle lee, k-tell, amanda, rachi

Things that make you go hmmm!

its so funny how those of us in this club called TTC do so many strange things to help aid in getting pregnant and I'm not talking just fertility meds from the doctor. I'm talking about natural things to get your CM to become more productive, timing sex so its just right, taking cold medication to create EWCM and so on and so forth.
Last cycle i remembered i had bought instead cups which are meant to collect AF and had read on Fertility friend how some women have been using them to keep sperm closer to your cervix and still be bale to move around and not have leakage.
So i decide to try them, can i just say WOW i am impressed. I had no leakage and in theory it would make sense that it would aid in helping TTC since it keeps the lil guys closer where they have to be.
Tkae a look at their site and you'll see what i mean
The first link is what it is inteaded for originally
http://www.softcup.com/product/video.php
the second is for aid in TTC
http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/softcup.html
So sex week started officially yesterday and my night table looks like a pharmacy, i have a big container of Iced green tea, mucinex 12 hours pills, Pre-seed, instead cups and a gallon of water.
I'm off to buy pineapple and yogurt for my smoothies later in the week and i will start the OPK's today to see if maybe O moved up since i took clomid CD3-7 this cycle.
Call me crazy and I'll probably beat myself up for this later but i have a good feeling about this cycle. I hope we get our BFP, just in time for our anniversary and more importantly i hope it sticks because this is our last round of Clomid, and although my problem isn't getting pregnant at this point I still feel like clomid helps my O be stronger.
Keep us in your prayers that it works because if it doesn't next cycle we are on our own.

1 step forward 2 steps back

I honestly thought i was doing ok with the whole m/c thing and finally being able to let go where i would have been in terms of how many weeks pg.
That was until this afternoon, my cell phone rang with a number i didn't recognize but it wasn't 800 so i picked up. It was a place called Peek-a-womb, they do 3D u/s and can tell you your baby's sex if you want. I thought it would be a great anivversary gift to MH to see his baby. Well here is how the conversation went.

"Hi, I'd like to confirm your 3D u/s for this saturday at 11am to find out your baby's gender."

"uhmm no i called your office on my way to my D&C to cancel back in Feb"

"i'm sorry how do you mean? you won't make it then? would you like to re-schedule?"
(may i just add she was way to happy for such a crappy day!)

"NO, i lost the baby, i had m/c."

"oh, i'm truly sorry, have a great weekend!" click

Now i'm in tears because i had finally gotten over obssessing how far along i would have been, now i know again where i would be!
Give or take 27 weeks, where if i were to go into labour, my baby would have a good chance of surviving.
God i hate this...i just fucking hate this never ending roller coaster.
i hate this i hate this so much

Clomid round 2

not much to report on the home front, Michael and I are still really sick, basically just dealing with it.
I started school last night and i love my new professor, he is very laid back, teaches alot, but is funny so it keeps the #hour class entertaining. Another great thing is the book he uses i have already so i don't have to spend $70 bad thing...i can't find it. I know i have it because i remember putting it in the bookcase shortly before we moved, but now its MIA so i'm hoping its downstairs or if not the in storage. Otherwise i'm going to be out$70 which would really suck!
I also started clomid last night 100mg CD3-7, in theory days 3-7 of Clomid lead to more follicles and fewer side effects on the lining and the mucus. Days 5-9 lead to better development of just a few follicles. It seems to make a difference for some women and does not make any difference in others. Little conclusive research on the issue exists.
Basically Your brain, will start decreasing the amount of FSH it produces just after day 3 (from AF start) to squeeze out the "strongest" follicle out. Remember, Clomid makes your brain produce more FSH, so the logic goes as follows... If you give the clomid on day 5, the follicles have already gone through some sort of "brain FSH starvation" so that one follicle has already been weeded out of the bunch. But if you give it on day 3, you not only minimize the FSH starvation that the brain is producing, but you may also be able to pluck out two follicles... TWINS!!!!

I think the more we talk about it the more i think we want that. I honestly at this point don't care if we get 8 or 1 as long as it makes it to 40 weeks and comes out kicking and screaming, even if I'm in labour for 48 hours or more, if i have the worst m/s ever and tack on whatever else you want. I just want us to have a baby and for it to be healthy and safe. is that serious;y too much to ask?

Another cycle goes bust

AF showed up yesterday! wahoo which means we move on to cycle #2 post ectopic. I bought Evening primrose oil pills to help with my possibly hostile CM caused by the clomid, of all things. And i also bought mucinex in pill form seeing that i can't stomach the robitussim flavor and after taste. I feel like puking after drinking that stuff and i'm sure its the last thing Michale wants to see before BD.
I am also going to start working out as of today 30 minutes of cardio(yeah right) i hope i can get past thise first 3 days and then stay on it. I also will be starting school tonight.i'm actually excited and nevous as in What the hell did i get myself into? I hope i can handle all this. Maybe not being pg right now is good so i can focus this month on school and not every twinge my boobs have.
That's all for now.