Its over and done with

Well surgery was a success i suppose on Monday...hey i'm still alive right!
Anyway, going through this for a third time besides being totally unfair, its completely devastated me and just ripped out my want to be a mother again. I don't know that i ever want to TTC again, Michael? well he wants to wait to see what the report(aka baby's autopsy) will tell us. uhmm yeah how about nothing! my body for whatever reason just doesn't want to handle a pg again. I'm so over it over the trying and planning and being careful not to eat this or drink that because of what harm it may do...guess what been there done that i still have no baby to show for it! 3 babies lost regardless of how careful i was and how many vitamins and precautions i took, i still lost them!
What difference does it make?
I told Michael that we need to each write a list of 5 places we want to go see and them put them in a box and each December we pull out a paper and that is our next destination vacation for the following summer!
first off Italy! then Costa Rica together finally. I figure if I'm not gonna focus my attention on baby making and producing which I've managed to very successfully fail, then besides nursing school i will put all my energy into vacation planning!
Right now I'm trying to convince Michael to go to Disney again next Sept and take advantage of the free dining! I love Disney and i love food so what better combo OHHH and it will be full blown summer not cold like when we got in January!
Well that is my big update for the week.
ta da for now